I’m here to share the truth about how to grow into who you’re meant to be! I’m here to encourage you along your path of self and spiritual discovery.

 

I’m Melissa Van Doren, a small woman with big dreams. I live in Los Angeles, Ca and am on a journey towards a career in acting. I desire to live a life devoted to helping young women through the inspiring stories I hope to portray in movies, and my by own stories through MaeVan.  I want you to know exactly who you are and go out and be it! The world needs you, and God's Kingdom needs you.

 

Why did I start this blog? I felt led & I wanted to; and I hope that by sharing what I’ve learned from my struggles I can help you face yours. I want to create a community of young women who fearlessly pursues their God-given callings, who encourage and uplift one another.  I want to be a part of a positive movement where girls no longer compare themselves to others, but instead love themselves completely, just as they are. There’s beginning to be a re-direction towards self love, and a change in the standard of beauty in our society. Let’s be the brave souls that continues to build momentum on that shift, who's with me?!

 

I once was a girl who hated herself for what she looked like. I was mad at myself for being fat, for having crooked teeth and frizzy hair. Hell, I was mad at myself when my period started! I dressed like a boy and slicked my hair back into a ponytail because it lined up with the image I had of myself, that I wasn’t pretty. I was a tomboy, so starting my period was total hearsay! My body’s appearance went against everything I thought was beautiful. I was a short (5 feet), chubby, white girl that should have been tall, thin, with olive skin; and I was mad about it. I was down right mean to myself, all the time. I set ridiculous standards that I could never live up to; and I always had to be doing something, never could I just ‘be’. I felt I was undeserving of rest and didn’t understand the word grace.

 

Not only was I hard on myself for what I looked like but my dreams overwhelmed my ability to make them come true. I expected way too much from myself. I should have conquered world peace by the time I finished high school, according to my to do list. I was relentless in my search for physical perfection and perfect performance. I was easy going with my friends but a tyrant to myself, and I was miserable. I just didn’t know what the problem was or how to be set free.

 

Why I was so unsatisfied with myself, I have no idea, but it continued for many years until I got fed up with hiding from my own reflection. I was tired of staying home because I didn’t want people to see how flawed I was.  I was tired of calling myself fat, and I was tired of never being good enough. I wanted more from life, I wanted to enjoy life, and I wanted to like myself!

 

Insecurities and the "awkward stage" seem to be a symptom of growing up; but I no longer believe it has to be this way, nor was it what God intended for you to go through when He made you. In the very least, I don't think it needs to continue into adulthood. Enough's enough, ya know what I'm sayin? He knew exactly what He was doing when he designed you, you are not a mistake. Your big nose is not a mistake, it is beautiful and uniquely you! Let's start seeing ourselves the way our Creator does. Change begins in the mind, and God is the only one who can change us. I will share with you the truth that is setting me free.

 

No one has it all together but we can make steps towards improvement, towards a point where things feel natural, like you're on the right track. My life is not what I imaged it would be, but I’m facing fears and learning what it means to trust God every step of the way.  We all deal with the same doubts, fears, insecurities, and choices; so let’s deal with it together!